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The answer is that mostly they have the dysfunctional mind, with the emotional baggage of fear, anxiety or other mental conflicts and past hurts in interpersonal situations.They fear experiencing invalidation from the target of attraction because they use superficial categories to define the self and others as well as to predict the effectiveness of their possible relationships, ignoring the affection messages from the real people who are attracted them.This type of artificial "contact" contradicts the process of meaningful interpersonal interactions (to be explained), which generates love and attraction.To explain the problem, I need to first elucidate the ingredients for love and the meaningful interactions.
Second, it does not help heal the emotional pains of some online daters.
It is an artificial type because both rejection and acceptance by the daters are not about the rejection and acceptance of real persons, but of the imagined or perceived attributes of their categories. New computer technology has greatly expanded people's potential and freedom to communicate with one another, some of which may generate love and romantic relationships, but online dating/matching, at least in its current format, has restricted the freedom. "It is clear that online dating has at least two problems.
People never fall in love with categories (even e Harmony's use of personality traits as the basis of matching does not represent real diverse human experiences and characteristics), because only real interpersonal process can create the feeling of love. First, it is an opposite of face-to -face interaction.
My problem is the majority of the people I know hanging around on dating sites are being ran through ie: experimenting with god knows who after being on so many dates.
I had a friend who went through numerous dates in a year...